I am creating a series of Artist Trading Cards, on trust and trusting, they are the catalyst for this post. I am learning as I create and make things, finding myself and how I view my world. This new found knowledge, sometimes it’s interesting and other times not so much, but the basic truth is, I’ve found my knowledge is expanding. Trusting that small voice that leads me to my work, that voice that drives me and at times supplies the map for me to follow. Call it instinct, call it intuition, call it the magic that makes art happen, name it what you wish. That tiny voice is leading me on an adventure.
I am learning to trust, myself, my art, my ability to create, its been a slow process. I’m trying to find the path that works for me. The one which allows me to become more at ease, free to be myself, without filtering, without the negativity which slows and halts my work. I’m realizing this is going to be hard journey. There will be many moments of ups, downs, facing fears and learning to love myself, as I am, in this moment. Traveling this path will enable me to find my truth and leave me free to express myself thru my art.
These thoughts have been filling my mind lately. When I close my eyes, preparing for sleep, I see: colors, ideas, and words drifting in thru my mind. The more I’ve learned to trust myself, the faster and easier these images and ideas are coming to me.
I am slowly opening up, exposing myself and trusting that the world will be kind and there is something to be learned from all of it. In the process, I am finding a sense of peace and there are moments of balance. Balance is hard, but learning to trust that balance will come with time is important for me.
I am trying to look at this process of change that is and will continue to affect my life and art. I am learning to accept all that it can and will bring into my life as a positive thing overall. Learning to trust is hard, but eventually it will become easier, as many things do with time.
Things that I’ve noticed recently:
I am feeling free… things are changing… in my heart… I am thinking different thoughts and ideas… feeling this openness and honesty with myself…. it leads me to trust myself a little more… I am talking to myself with kinder words, encouraging myself, being tender.
I believe that how we treat ourselves, should be a reflection of how we treat others, or how we wish to be treated by others. How can I be open and honest when I am mentally beating myself up…. this negative habit is unproductive and it stops me from creating art. I believe that there is value in everyone, weather or not I can see that value.